Reassurance

When I first asked why, he said:

"Usually I would just say you deserve better.. But I can't cuz I'd be lying cuz I know I could be the best for you."

Ahh! So far, so good.
How amaaazing

Need U Bad

Hella feelin this joint! Peep game on it. (:

Random & Uninmportant!

Things I Need to Do SOON:
- Study Abroad application (w/ ESSAY!)
- Double major declaration for Legal Studies
- Arrange "Angels" ASAP
- Read read read
- Plan accordingly for SB trip this weekend!

Things I Need to Save Up For:
- A NEW LAPTOP (mine is about to die!)
- Keyboard (life sucks without keys)
- An external (don't really need to save, just need to get it)
- Trips next year!

I've got a lot to do and sooo little time!

Matters of the Heart..

When it comes to matters of the heart, I am definitely not the most rational person. When I learn to let my guard down, I always tend to give too much of myself and I always end up getting hurt. It's happened over and over again but I always let it. That's just how I am.

This time around I want to say that it's different with him. It's definitely nothing new, but the tables were indeed turned -- his guard was down when mine wasn't. And I know how much it SUCKS to be in that position, cuz he put me there before.. But nevertheless, he stuck around. He "owed it to me" to wait for me cuz I did for him (to no avail at the time).

I like to believe the best in people. And this time I can say that everything feels different and better. He doesn't spite me for going out with other guys, hooka-ing or drinking or even just having dinner (one-on-one or not). He trusts me (something that my last relationship severely lacked), despite me having wronged him before. I don't have to change any part of me when I'm with him. And he's not afraid to hurt my feelings just as much as I'm not afraid to hurt his. I never have to tiptoe around anything I'm feeling or doing. He just gets me.

Despite all our differences (we're really, really different), he's my perfect complement.

We'll see where we're headed this time.
But for now I can say that I'm happy it's him. (:

Dreamlover..

Dreamlover, come rescue me!

Abraham Obama!

So the other night I had a dream that Siene stole weed from some cops and then smoked that weed with Abraham Lincoln.

Random right?! HAHA.

Anyway, I like Siene's blog post on it so here:
http://s1ene.blogspot.com/2008/10/weird-asss-dream.html

Abraham Obama -- I'm feelin it.

Sometimes, Being Busy Sucks...

Sometimes, being busy sucks for the both of us because there are times (like right now, and lately!) when I just want to spend time with you and remind myself that you're not going anywhere. Sorry if it's a lot to ask. I just hate waiting. Waiting waiting waiting.. I feel like I'm always stuck in the same positions.

But I cannot wait until tomorrow night at 7pm when my school WEEK will be over, and I will be officially dunzo with this semester's midterms! Weee.

Just gotta grind it out.

BE the Change!

Just a reminder,

TODAY is the LAST DAY to REGISTER TO VOTE!

Get on it! When given the privilege and opportunity to make a difference and make change, take it. Exercise your rights the right way!

Like Gandhi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."

The Roots -- A Musical HIGH

Last night I went to San Jose State to watch the Roots and Gym Class Heroes live. This was my second time seeing the Roots live and they were still as amazing (if not more) than the last time I saw them. The show really made you realize just how TALENTED those fellas are -- it was just real, raw, GOOD music. I can't even explain how musically high I was after their show!

And to top it off, MOS DEF made a special guest appearance cuz he was in the area. I was trippin off that too!

Gym Class Heroes was also good. I don't really listen to their stuff but man they know how to perform live. I was actually very impressed with their musicianship too, especially cuz I could just imagine how daunting it would be to open for the musical genius of the Roots. They brought it just as hard and the whole night was seriously off the hook.

And Estelle did her thang last night as well. She was the only female on stage the whole night but man she knew how to command it. Her soulful voice was the perfect complement to both of those amazing bands' sets.

The Political Dance?

Haha! Literally, huh? What a trip.

Say NO to Right-Wing Extremism

I was watching a Free Speech / Democracy Now program last night regarding the November presidential elections and am becoming exceedingly more distraught regarding our current American political situation.

The program pointed out how at several McCain/Palin rallies there have been people yelling things like "Kill him!" and "Terrorist!" about the Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama.. To which both Republican candidates failed to reply.





I'm not saying I'm against the platforms on which McCain's campaign stands. My biggest problem with McCain is that while promoting his platforms, he (and Palin) embellishes his campaign by making statements that Obama is in cooperation with terrorists and that he isn't pro-America as much as McCain. And I am SO AGAINST the right-wing extremism that continues to be fostered by both McCain and Palin's accusation of Obama as anti-America AND their failure to put down the threats to Obama's life and false accusations of Obama as a terrorist.

Show me a presidential hopeful that focuses on the NEED FOR CHANGE for America WITHOUT having to win the election by making false accusations against your presidential opponent. Show me INTEGRITY.

Why would you want a president and vice-president who foster such deep-seated hatred in America? Why would you want right-wing extremists running our country who will continue to ignore racism in our multi-cultural nation?

Elections are coming up within a month. Don't catch yourself misinformed..
Vote for someone who will make the RIGHT changes and foster the RIGHT ideals.

KEEP YOURSELF EDUCATED!

Definition of Love?

love is just a dream

Perils of Love...

So You Can Cryy.

First I gotta say, I have absolutely fallen in love with Ne-Yo's new album, Year of the Gentleman. Peep game on it!


http://www.yearofthegentleman.com
My faves are So You Can Cry, Miss Independent, Closer, & Single (without New Kids on the Block).

Right now I'm listening to Kanye's "Love Lockdown" and as much as I want to love it cuz it's Kanye, I'm just not all that hyped about it. He's such a talented musician and producer that it really bugs me that he's on that auto-tune hype. Hopefully I'm more satisfied with the other tracks on his upcoming album.. Haven't heard any of it yet but I AM curious to hear what he's come up with. I completely respect him as an artist and am just waiting to hear what's next.

So peep game on this too:


Anyway. I must say that I'm feeling a billion times better than I have this past week. After being sick for a couple of days and confining myself to my bed, then having to write a 5 page paper and take an all-essay writing midterm, I'm back to being good. This morning I woke up around 845am and hopped in the shower all quick, rushing to make it to my 930am class. Too bad when I got to class I had found out it was canceled. What a bummer. I guess that's what I get for being sick and not getting all the announcements... But luckily my 11am today is canceled too. Three free hours! Yeeee son.

Everyday I'm realizing how AWESOME the people in my life are. I'm so not down for those complicated situations. Everyone in my life just has that understanding, where we're doing our own thing, happy when someone else is happy, and not trying to restrict each other from doing what we gotta. We don't have to answer to nooo oonnneee and I'm so so good with that (;

Anyway, till next time.
LAAAAATE.

Let's Be Sincere

The reason my head was killing me last night was cuz I had a fever. I guess that explains that body aches, headache, eye sore, skin aches. I missed a lot of class today AND work so that really sucked. I was stuck in bed ALL DAY and now that I'm actually feeling functional I have to work on a paper AND study for tomorrow's midterm.

Man, my timing is impeccable.

Anyway. I've realized how much I hate insincerity. I guess that's why it's hard for me to keep friends -- I'd rather not deal with a lot of the crap that comes with trying to make friends. Pretending like you care about some things when you really don't.. Cuz a lot of the things people have to say are pointless, and I'm not gonna be the one to sit around and listen, pretending that it's not. Sure, may seem harsh but hey. Just saying.

On that note, I hate it when people do that to me. Pretend like they care about what's going on in my life when they really don't. I don't need anyone to be fake around me. I have enough people to take care of me and care about me and I don't need anyone's insincerity to mess that up for me.

If you're gonna ask about me, mean it.
I'd love it if you'd be sincere.

Longest. Day. Everrr.

It is now 10pm on a Monday after another amaaazing weekend at home.. And it has seriously been the longest day ever. Could be because I slept at 4am and woke up at 6am and have been doing class, singing, class, walking, class, blah blah blah all day. Way too much today. But that's the life of a college student right? Ugh.

Anyway. I'm sitting in a building on campus surrounded by a lot of really smart people who are programming or studying or discussing. Whatever smart people do. While on the other hand I'm sitting in the corner "writing my paper" but actually really just watching Youtube videos and vibing to my own. Crazy how I'm actually getting on in this school...

With a paper due Wednesday, and a midterm that same day!
I. FAIL.

Anyway. I would like to blame my lack of motivation on this fat headache I have. So.. We could leave it at that. (;

And yeah. This was a pretty pointless post but since everything else I'm doing right now is pointless I might as well right?

Ugh. Back to more pointless "writing."

PS, I'm Filipino.

Let me first off explain that it is now my THIRD year here at UC Berkeley. I absolutely love the people I have met and become good friends with, and am quite grateful that my lack of social skills hasn't left me completely friend-less (cuz I do have some of theee most awesome friends up here!).

Anyway. Back to my story. I've been at Berkeley for three years and have not once decided to get involved in the Filipino community. I don't know why. I guess cuz in high school I wasn't really all that into it. It's ironic cuz ALL (or well, MOST) of my friends in SD are Filipino.. Huh. Anyway, yesterday I went to a meeting with my roommate. Surprisingly, it was for a Filipino organization (note: my roommate isn't Filipino!). So I went. And it was good. And I met a lot of friendly people (which might explain why I never became really good friends with them.. I suck at being really friendly sometimes). Anyway. At the end of the meeting everyone was just talking/socializing/eating. And a guy comes up to me and my roommate. And the following conversation (or well, something similar) ensues:

Boy: Oh hey I've never seen you guys here before!
Me/Roommate: Yeah it's our first time.
Boy: Oh are you guys first years?!
Me/Roommate: Um, no.. We're third years.
Boy: Oh, you guys are junior transfers?!
Me: Um, no.. I've been here since my freshman year.
Boy: .. Oh.

So after this conversation, I felt a little bit upset. I guess I really just didn't appreciate how he went to assume that I, being a Filipino, was either a freshman or a junior TRANSFER simply because I hadn't been at any Filipino organization/meeting/event since coming to Berkeley.

I wasn't aware of the expectation that all Filipinos had to be in a Filipino organization to be accepted.

It never crossed my mind that I should join a Filipino group. None of the Filipinos really "reached out" to me to join their little groups. Plus, I already felt ostracized after my first year since I had already noticed that they had formed a clique. I hate cliques (middle school experiences that will haunt me for life).

What really gets me is that what he doesn't realize is that life for Filipinos IS possible even if you're not involved in one of their organizations. Don't get me wrong, I highly respect their groups and the purposes of those groups. But come on now, let's not jump to conclusions that any Filipino not in a Filipino group is new to Berkeley. That's a bit ignorant if you ask my opinion.

So to end my story, I just want to say that I've been at UC Berkeley since Fall 2006. I've known that I've wanted to go to Berkeley since fourth grade. I'm a political science and legal studies double major. I sing in an a cappella group on campus. And I'm Filipino.

If that's not good enough for you,
then you're really not worth my time.


THAT IS ALL!