The first is my practice of music (i.e. singing and playing instruments). While I am in an a cappella group on campus, I just don't get the same satisfaction singing with my group as I do when I'm by myself singing at the top of my lungs or pounding away at the piano or even freely jammin with my friends at home. I feel as though coming to Berkeley has negatively affected the creativity that I used to express through music..
The second and more important is my faith relationship with God. At home I'm so active in the Church and am constantly surrounded by a faith community that I'm familiar with. I'm always learning new things and renewing my relationship with God when I'm at home, whether it's through singing at Church, helping plan Church events, helping with the youth ministry.. Coming back to Berkeley is always really hard on my faith because I don't have the support that I get back home. In Berkeley I go to Church alone, I pray alone, I sing in the pews alone.. It's hard because at home every Saturday/Sunday I'm at Church with my family and my bestfriends, practicing the same faith and walking along the same faith journey. It's hard for me to strengthen my faith when I feel so alone in it.. I know that this is a challenge I need to go through to have a better relationship with Him, but it's been three years and it has not been getting any easier.. All I can do is pray for strength...
Refiners Fire - Passion
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