Growing up, growing on..

Coming back to San Diego is a different experience for me every single time. This time around I only have three weeks of relaxation before I head out the country. It's all good though, I've been making the most of it so far.

Seeing as how I'm barely in SD anymore, it's increasingly become a reality that while I still refer to SD as home, it's become more of a vacation spot for me, somewhere I go to escape the chaos of school and stress and work and everything that Berkeley and the Bay Area has come to represent (although I do love Berkeley!). I was born and raised in San Diego.. 18 years definitely cannot be erased from my heart and mind.

But to get to the point, I've barely been home for 3 days and luckily I've got to chill with some of the people on my to-chill-with list during my 3 weeks here. I swear, every time I come home though I realize how much I've distanced myself from the life I used to live. I don't regret it at all, cuz the changes I've made to my life have been so necessary for me to get to where I am today. But at the same time, it just makes me realize how fast things could change.

Just the other day, my homegirl was telling me about our high school friend who is now pregnant, which brought up the story of another friend who is also pregnant, and then she started telling me how so-and-so is married, so-and-so broke up, etc. You get the picture. But the whole time we were talking I was in a "WTF?!" state and she was just like, "Girl, you didn't know?! Where've you been?!"

Seriously though.. where have I been? Since moving up to Berkeley in fall 2006 I left behind the parts of me that I did not want to see in my future. I've always had an idea of where I wanted to be in a few years and realized that there were definitely some changes I needed to make in order to get there. I'm not trying to say the people we were talking about were not important, but my priorities changed a LOT. It's nice to hear about what happened to this girl or that boy now that it's been 3 years since we graduated high school. But it also feels good knowing that I've been growing into the person I want to be, whether or not that means leaving some old parts of me back in the place that I only visit a few times a year.

Of course, this is definitely not discounting the friends I still have and am still close to since high school and graduation. They know who they are--the ones that have made coming back to SD soooo worth it every single time. And while I've definitely grown out of some of the past drama that I used to be all too familiar with, I am glad that there are some people who are STILL with me despite the time and distance. I love that we all get to see each other's growth and progress; it's a beautiful thing.