1. I know it's hard, but think of one of your favorites memory of 2008?
SF Trip Summer 2008! Seriously always the first thing that comes to mind when I think of my favorite 2008 moments
2. Did you do any community service this year? What was it?
Sadly, no. Haha. I did Church work as usual, and singing for charities and whatnot. But nothing big..
3. Are you planning on making a New Year's resolution?
Nope, never really do. Everyday is a new day to change so it's more of daily resolutions than anything.
4. How many people have you kissed this year?
Umm. Four non-familial, I think..
5. Did you have any significant others this year?
Three.
6. Was 2008 a good year of love for you?
It was another year of a LOT of learning.
7. Did you go to any concerts?
Wyclef, Kanye's Glow in the Dark, Erykah Badu & the Roots, The Roots & Gym Class Heroes
8. What was your biggest accomplishment?
Umm.. A visible growth within myself.
9. Did you stay awake two nights in a row?
Never have stayed awake for even one straight night. I love sleeps, including naps.
10. What was something you really hoped you didn't do that you did?
Oh maaaaaaaan spring break. HAHA. Alsooo, skipping class. And let my guard down at the wrong time..
11. Did you do any hardcore drugs?
HAHA, define hardcore? Just kidding.
12. Are you gonna partyyy New Year's Eve?
Apparently so, am going to Dussini's for Clinton Hart's Chargers Party.
13. Will you drink on New Year's?
I always drink.
14. Did you see a torando/hurricane this year?
No I have not
15. Did you travel out of state?
No ):
16. Have you been in a car accident this year?
Never have, knock on wood.
17. Did you try something new this year?
I am always up for trying new things. So yes (:
18. Are you hoping to try something new in 2009?
I just turned 21, so of couuurseee
19. What did you do for your birthday?
Turned 21 and spent it with family and bestss.
20. Did you go to any amusement parks?
Six Flags Magic Mountain twice, and Sea World
21. Are you a nervous/anxious about 2009 coming?
In a good way! I can't wait.
22. Was there a life changing experience that happened to you this year?
Everything has been life-changing. Gotta take the good in with the bad to let me become who I am today.
23. Did you get a new piercing?
Nope, haven't been pierced since I was a baby.
24. Have you gotten in a physical fight with someone?
Haha nope but almost
25. What about verbal?
Ugh too many times
26. Who hurt you the most this year?
Well it all comes down to myself cuz I made myself susceptible to the pain that I experienced.
27. Who made you the happiest?
Family, bestfriends, Atera, and Paolo has always made me happy.
28. Did your significant other do any 'cute' things for you?
Haha, my significant other JUST called me to tell me he came up on $200 at Vegas and is going to take me to dinner. Heeeyyyy. Haha. He's done a lot of cute things for me. He got me Booboo the Batman Bear (: He also wrote me a letter full of jokes and brought it along with breakfast to me after one of my classes.. (: He's the beesssttt
29. Do you have any regrets when it comes to your friendship?
No regrets, they've either helped strengthen my friendships or helped me realize it wasn't worth it anyway
30. Have you found a new hidden talent?
Haha. Not really.
31. Did you go streaking/skinny dipping this year?
No, soo unnecessary!
32. How did you do in school?
Not as good as I want to be doing but good enough for now. Time to get back on the grind again!
33. Did you fall in/out of love in 2008?
In and out too quickly. But in again with more care this time (:
34. How many new friends do you think you've made?
A lot of some really good ones
35. Have you lost any friends?
Not really, we're just doing our own thing
36. Did you throw a huge banger this year?
If by banger we mean party, then I guess Amanda's and my birthday party was pretty big. And Liberation from Spring 08 was huge. HAHA.
37. Have you changed a lot from the beginning of 2008 to the end?
Absolutely. And I'm glad I could measure my growth. Honestly I must thank Paolo (both while dating and not) for it cuz he's helped me be a better me and a me that I am happy being.
38. What would you like to change about yourself when 2009 comes?
Patience patience patience
39. What was your favorite holiday this year?
Umm, they were all good.
40. Did you get caught in a big lie this year?
Big lie? No I've been pretty honest with everyone and myself.. One of my bigger accomplishments this year (:
41. Did you drastically change your style?
Nopeee
42. Are you graduating in 2009?
No, 2010
43. What was your least favorite month in 2008? Why?
Least favorite would have to be August because I had to start being honest with myself about things.
44. Were you depressed at all this year?
I have had some really down days, not gonna lie
45. Did you get your hair cut?
Trims but I am going to chop it off in the new yeaaarrrrr....
46. Do you think 2009 will top 2008?
Well 2008 was a really good year but the years keep getting better so whooo knooowwsss!
Wednesday, December 31, 2008
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
21 & Christmas
I am officially 21 as of Christmas Eve 2008. It was a good, chill birthday and I didn't get all crazy or nothing cuz, well, I really didn't need to. Spent it at Church and with my family and seriously that was all I needed.
I had my first 21 experience on Christmas day with my bestfriend Siene. We went to 7-11 and I bought us some alcohol. I know, EPIC right? Haha.
And I spent my first weekend as a 21-year old with the guy I'm dating and his family for his sister's wedding. It was a really great weekend and there's so much more about him and me that I'm excited for and looking forward to. We are both learning to understand each other a lot better which is really good.
---
Christmas was awesome too. A low-key family Christmas that I love. Happy birthday Jesus (:
I had my first 21 experience on Christmas day with my bestfriend Siene. We went to 7-11 and I bought us some alcohol. I know, EPIC right? Haha.
And I spent my first weekend as a 21-year old with the guy I'm dating and his family for his sister's wedding. It was a really great weekend and there's so much more about him and me that I'm excited for and looking forward to. We are both learning to understand each other a lot better which is really good.
---
Christmas was awesome too. A low-key family Christmas that I love. Happy birthday Jesus (:
Friday, December 19, 2008
The Finer Things
I am officially done with Fall 2008 semester! .. Well, actually once I go on campus and turn in this last final. Hehe.
My thoughts? This semester has been the most challenging in every way. It was my first semester taking ALL upper div classes, which, if you're a poli sci AND legal studies double, you could just imagine how much READING and PAPER-WRITING is required. Not to mention, I couldn't enroll into the legal studies courses until like two weeks after the semester started so I was ALREADY behind from the start. WEAK. So four upper divs, being asst. director of an a cappella group, still working, going home a LOT (too much actually), and handling my boo (haha, syke), it's been a time-management challenge most def.
Next semester though, I need to start strong, persist strong, and finish strong. There's no way I'm going to let next semester or any other semester be as horrible as it was this semester.
ANYWAY --
We liberated last night, and I am so glad. Haha. Except my head kind of hurts..
But I'm finally going home tonight! Sad, Paolo and I didn't really have a solid last day except sleep. Haha. I will see him next weekend at his sister's wedding (when I meet his whole extended family and more.. YIKES) and hopefully sometime after that too....
And to top it off, I got accepted into the Study Abroad program! So, if all the finances come correct (and it should), I will be spending six weeks of my summer in Paris!
Okay, well that's all for now. Time to pack, clean, and turn in this stupid final.
PEEAACEEE
My thoughts? This semester has been the most challenging in every way. It was my first semester taking ALL upper div classes, which, if you're a poli sci AND legal studies double, you could just imagine how much READING and PAPER-WRITING is required. Not to mention, I couldn't enroll into the legal studies courses until like two weeks after the semester started so I was ALREADY behind from the start. WEAK. So four upper divs, being asst. director of an a cappella group, still working, going home a LOT (too much actually), and handling my boo (haha, syke), it's been a time-management challenge most def.
Next semester though, I need to start strong, persist strong, and finish strong. There's no way I'm going to let next semester or any other semester be as horrible as it was this semester.
ANYWAY --
We liberated last night, and I am so glad. Haha. Except my head kind of hurts..
But I'm finally going home tonight! Sad, Paolo and I didn't really have a solid last day except sleep. Haha. I will see him next weekend at his sister's wedding (when I meet his whole extended family and more.. YIKES) and hopefully sometime after that too....
And to top it off, I got accepted into the Study Abroad program! So, if all the finances come correct (and it should), I will be spending six weeks of my summer in Paris!
Okay, well that's all for now. Time to pack, clean, and turn in this stupid final.
PEEAACEEE
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Oh My Hero..
So I've been re-playing Final Fantasy 3/6 (yes, okay.. I'm a nerd so what!) and last night while I was playing I passed my favorite scene in the game -- the Opera scene! It's sweet (:
Monday, December 15, 2008
16.
This is being completely copied/pasted from my Facebook note, but I thought it'd be fun to post here.
The premise:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
---
1) I was born around 1030pm on Christmas Eve. The doctor told my mom if she waited 2 more hours she'd have me as a Christmas gift. Guess what my mom said to that.
2) I used to want to be a back-up singer. That way I'd fulfill my dream of singing as a career without the pressures that come along with fame. Actually, this is still sort of true about me.
3) I hated the drama of high school so much that I managed to get 92 hours of absences in one semester. I also got straight A's that semester.
4) I hate putting my hair up all the way. This is because I used to be in ballet, and at one of my performances my hair was slick back in a bun (duh) and my brother looked at my shadow and my shadow was seriously just my oval head and two huge ears sticking out. My brother then commenced calling me an alien, and kept asking my mom if I were an alien. Haha. Scarred me for life apparently.
5) My brother and sister used to tell me that my mom didn't want me and that I was a mistake. It's not entirely unwarranted, since my mom accidentally got pregnant with me because she was too lazy to get her tubes tied after my sister. Thus, I was born.
6) My sister and I used to jump out of our second story window for fun.
7) My brother used to give my mom such a hard time for having another daughter and not another son. So he tried to make me a boy, calling me Chris all the time (which wasn't unusual in the first place since my mom called me that), but also teaching me how to skateboard and play Magic the Gathering, among other things.
8) Final Fantasy RPGs are my guilty pleasure. I've beat 3 (6), 7, 8, and 9; started 10 but my brother erased my file, and then started it again but got too lazy to finish. I'm currently re-playing FF3/FF6. My favorite is FF8 because I am in love with Squall and secretly wish I were Rinoa.
9) I had my first kiss when I turned 16. Yup, about one hour after midnight on my 16th birthday. Actually, 16 was magical.
10) 2008 has been the best year of my life so far.
11) I've had surgery twice in my life -- one for a cyst underneath my left eye in 4th grade, and one for my wisdom teeth summer 2007.
12) I didn't apply to UCSD (even though I'm from SD) because at the time I was trying to get far, far away from my ex-boyfriend. He gave me shit for that when we got back together... HAHA. Oh well, I wouldn't have gone there anyway.
13) I'm addicted to fast food and soda. I should probably cut back if I want to live past 40.
14) When I was younger I was really, unhealthy-looking skinny. Every time I went to the doctor for a regular check-up, they would question my eating habits and ask if I were depressed or anything like that. I'd always tell them I eat a lot and that I'm just healthy.. But they'd draw my blood anyway to see if there was something physically wrong with me. There never was. And I hated the doctor for that! Oh, if they could see me now.
15) I'm 5'2" and I like my height. I actually hate wearing heels sometimes because I hate feeling tall.
16) Every time I pass a store window, I have the tendency to check myself out in it. Haha. I think every girl does this, and a lot of guys do, too. But it's just funny because I feel really self-centered whenever I do it, but when I'm satisfied with what I see then it's justified.
The premise:
Once you’ve been tagged, you have to write a note with 16 random things, shortcomings, facts, habits or goals about you. At the end choose 16 people to be tagged, listing their names and why you chose them. You have to tag the person who tagged you.
---
1) I was born around 1030pm on Christmas Eve. The doctor told my mom if she waited 2 more hours she'd have me as a Christmas gift. Guess what my mom said to that.
2) I used to want to be a back-up singer. That way I'd fulfill my dream of singing as a career without the pressures that come along with fame. Actually, this is still sort of true about me.
3) I hated the drama of high school so much that I managed to get 92 hours of absences in one semester. I also got straight A's that semester.
4) I hate putting my hair up all the way. This is because I used to be in ballet, and at one of my performances my hair was slick back in a bun (duh) and my brother looked at my shadow and my shadow was seriously just my oval head and two huge ears sticking out. My brother then commenced calling me an alien, and kept asking my mom if I were an alien. Haha. Scarred me for life apparently.
5) My brother and sister used to tell me that my mom didn't want me and that I was a mistake. It's not entirely unwarranted, since my mom accidentally got pregnant with me because she was too lazy to get her tubes tied after my sister. Thus, I was born.
6) My sister and I used to jump out of our second story window for fun.
7) My brother used to give my mom such a hard time for having another daughter and not another son. So he tried to make me a boy, calling me Chris all the time (which wasn't unusual in the first place since my mom called me that), but also teaching me how to skateboard and play Magic the Gathering, among other things.
8) Final Fantasy RPGs are my guilty pleasure. I've beat 3 (6), 7, 8, and 9; started 10 but my brother erased my file, and then started it again but got too lazy to finish. I'm currently re-playing FF3/FF6. My favorite is FF8 because I am in love with Squall and secretly wish I were Rinoa.
9) I had my first kiss when I turned 16. Yup, about one hour after midnight on my 16th birthday. Actually, 16 was magical.
10) 2008 has been the best year of my life so far.
11) I've had surgery twice in my life -- one for a cyst underneath my left eye in 4th grade, and one for my wisdom teeth summer 2007.
12) I didn't apply to UCSD (even though I'm from SD) because at the time I was trying to get far, far away from my ex-boyfriend. He gave me shit for that when we got back together... HAHA. Oh well, I wouldn't have gone there anyway.
13) I'm addicted to fast food and soda. I should probably cut back if I want to live past 40.
14) When I was younger I was really, unhealthy-looking skinny. Every time I went to the doctor for a regular check-up, they would question my eating habits and ask if I were depressed or anything like that. I'd always tell them I eat a lot and that I'm just healthy.. But they'd draw my blood anyway to see if there was something physically wrong with me. There never was. And I hated the doctor for that! Oh, if they could see me now.
15) I'm 5'2" and I like my height. I actually hate wearing heels sometimes because I hate feeling tall.
16) Every time I pass a store window, I have the tendency to check myself out in it. Haha. I think every girl does this, and a lot of guys do, too. But it's just funny because I feel really self-centered whenever I do it, but when I'm satisfied with what I see then it's justified.
For the New Year
Just a few of the things I need to work on about myself, taken from http://newresolution.tumblr.com.
Friday, December 12, 2008
An Elf Christmas
My mom, sister, niece, dog, and I would like to wish you a Merry Christmas!:
Send your own ElfYourself eCards
Up to Date?
In an effort to catch ya'll up with the business, I'll just break it down simply..
- AiR fall concert was a success! All the stress and extra rehearsals (and do trust, there were a lot of both) were worth it..
- Parents came up to visit and to watch my show! They also took my car back to SD tho, so I'm car-less except for Paolo hehe (: Anyway, I love my parents a lot
- Last day of school was on Wednesday. I have my first final on Tuesday ):
- Pacquiao took De La Hoya down (: Another one for the Philippines!
- Started playing Final Fantasy 6 (or, FF3 for Super Nintendo) again.. And I loooove the game! Almost forgot how much I missed it. (:
- I have officially applied to study abroad and am now just waiting to hear back .. :X Wish me luck
- And last but not least, peep game on my bestfriend Siene's beats! He's a talented musician and a real advocate of good music.. So here it is:
& peep his blog too!: CLICK
Anyway, I think that's all for now. Studying is soooo necessary right now!
Stay up and take it easy (:
- AiR fall concert was a success! All the stress and extra rehearsals (and do trust, there were a lot of both) were worth it..
- Parents came up to visit and to watch my show! They also took my car back to SD tho, so I'm car-less except for Paolo hehe (: Anyway, I love my parents a lot
- Last day of school was on Wednesday. I have my first final on Tuesday ):
- Pacquiao took De La Hoya down (: Another one for the Philippines!
- Started playing Final Fantasy 6 (or, FF3 for Super Nintendo) again.. And I loooove the game! Almost forgot how much I missed it. (:
- I have officially applied to study abroad and am now just waiting to hear back .. :X Wish me luck
- And last but not least, peep game on my bestfriend Siene's beats! He's a talented musician and a real advocate of good music.. So here it is:
& peep his blog too!: CLICK
Anyway, I think that's all for now. Studying is soooo necessary right now!
Stay up and take it easy (:
Sunday, December 7, 2008
A LOT
A lot has been going on but for lack of time I cannot update. I'm currently swamped with a 20-page paper due on Tuesday, and finishing up my study abroad applications and documents. I hope there's one more space for me........
Can't say I'm happy right now cuz a lot of the crap that's been going down.
One thing I can say tho, is that he really knows how to keep me sane and happy. He's the reason why I wake up smiling every morning, and the reason that I know I'll be okay. I couldn't ask for anyone better. Thank you (:
Ciao! for now.
Can't say I'm happy right now cuz a lot of the crap that's been going down.
One thing I can say tho, is that he really knows how to keep me sane and happy. He's the reason why I wake up smiling every morning, and the reason that I know I'll be okay. I couldn't ask for anyone better. Thank you (:
Ciao! for now.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
My Early Christmas
Mom: I already bought your Christmas present.
Me: Really? What'd you get me?
Mom: Your laptop. And this new phone.
Me: Oh yeah huh.
Mom: Yeah, I'll just wrap these empty boxes so you have something to unwrap on Christmas.
Me: Gee, thanks mom -.-
Haha! Happy December everyone (:
Me: Really? What'd you get me?
Mom: Your laptop. And this new phone.
Me: Oh yeah huh.
Mom: Yeah, I'll just wrap these empty boxes so you have something to unwrap on Christmas.
Me: Gee, thanks mom -.-
Haha! Happy December everyone (:
Sunday, November 30, 2008
Thankful
A lot has passed since I wrote in here, partly because I've been busy beyond words and also because my laptop screen broke and it was way too much effort to try to get it to work long enough to write a post.
Tomorrow's already December, which is also my birth month! I absolutely love December, simply because I love the holidays in general. It's such a good-spirited time and I don't ever recall having a bad holiday season. (:
As for the past couple of days..
- Amanda and I had a joint birthday party! REALLY early for me, I know, but since my birthday is on Christmas Eve I NEVER get to celebrate with school friends because we're always off on winter break. Plus, it was the only time before the craziness of finals that everyone could come through (:
- Cal won the Big Game against Stanford and won the Axe back! Go Bears (:
- AiR has been moving at full force in preparation for our fall concert, which is already this coming weekend. If you're in town this coming weekend, please come out and support!
- Thanksgiving break was amazing, as I was able to come home again fiiinally. Just as I was about to break from all the busy-ness of school, I was able to come home and see my family and my beautiful baby niece who I've missed so much!
- I had my first Black Friday camping out experience at Best Buy. It was crazy haha. And I finally got a new laptop, which explains why I'm able to post haha
- My friends and I had our reunions this Thanksgiving, which have been absolutely amazing and very much needed. I looove my best, babygirls, and the homies!
I finally go back to Berkeley tomorrow morning (helllla early flight, def not cool!) and I am highly unprepared for all the stuff that's going on. I have rehearsal every night this week, aaand two really big papers due within a week (5 pages and 20 pages.. yeah, I know, wtf right?).
But I just gotta really get on the grind like I have been these past couple of days..
Anyway, more updates later, I gotta get back to living my life. Haha.
LATE
Tomorrow's already December, which is also my birth month! I absolutely love December, simply because I love the holidays in general. It's such a good-spirited time and I don't ever recall having a bad holiday season. (:
As for the past couple of days..
- Amanda and I had a joint birthday party! REALLY early for me, I know, but since my birthday is on Christmas Eve I NEVER get to celebrate with school friends because we're always off on winter break. Plus, it was the only time before the craziness of finals that everyone could come through (:
- Cal won the Big Game against Stanford and won the Axe back! Go Bears (:
- AiR has been moving at full force in preparation for our fall concert, which is already this coming weekend. If you're in town this coming weekend, please come out and support!
- Thanksgiving break was amazing, as I was able to come home again fiiinally. Just as I was about to break from all the busy-ness of school, I was able to come home and see my family and my beautiful baby niece who I've missed so much!
- I had my first Black Friday camping out experience at Best Buy. It was crazy haha. And I finally got a new laptop, which explains why I'm able to post haha
- My friends and I had our reunions this Thanksgiving, which have been absolutely amazing and very much needed. I looove my best, babygirls, and the homies!
I finally go back to Berkeley tomorrow morning (helllla early flight, def not cool!) and I am highly unprepared for all the stuff that's going on. I have rehearsal every night this week, aaand two really big papers due within a week (5 pages and 20 pages.. yeah, I know, wtf right?).
But I just gotta really get on the grind like I have been these past couple of days..
Anyway, more updates later, I gotta get back to living my life. Haha.
LATE
Tuesday, November 18, 2008
West Coast A Cappella Showcase!
Here is AiR's set from West Coast. Feel free to comment and subscribe! Enjoy (:
Weird Dream #4!
My mom was at an indoor high school (think Saved by the Bell layout, lockers and all) and she was in a fist fight (yes a physical altercation) with some of her high school mates. But they're of age, and not in high school. My sister and I go there and ask, What are you doing? You gotta get out of there! So they all scramble..
Except my sister and I wanted to get revenge on the women picking on our mom. So we go to their house and it's dark but they're home. We're sneaking around and stealing things and plotting things.. But they find us out. We jump out of a window while they're chasing us. We hop their fence to a street, and we see a guy in his front yard.
"Do you have keys to a car?"
"Yeah, right here"
"Can I borrow it?"
"You have to promise to give it back"
"Just come with us!"
So they hop in the back seat and I'm driving this manual sports car. I go in reverse for a good amount of the time but somehow drift into 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc gear. We go on the highway.. And we pass freeway 310. I ask if we're far from home, and someone says we're almost at San Jose. I freak out and say we're too far and say we should just turn around and go home since they're probably done looking for us..
Then I awake!
Except my sister and I wanted to get revenge on the women picking on our mom. So we go to their house and it's dark but they're home. We're sneaking around and stealing things and plotting things.. But they find us out. We jump out of a window while they're chasing us. We hop their fence to a street, and we see a guy in his front yard.
"Do you have keys to a car?"
"Yeah, right here"
"Can I borrow it?"
"You have to promise to give it back"
"Just come with us!"
So they hop in the back seat and I'm driving this manual sports car. I go in reverse for a good amount of the time but somehow drift into 1st, 2nd, 3rd, etc gear. We go on the highway.. And we pass freeway 310. I ask if we're far from home, and someone says we're almost at San Jose. I freak out and say we're too far and say we should just turn around and go home since they're probably done looking for us..
Then I awake!
Monday, November 17, 2008
Dreams..
This is the third night in a row that I've had a really vivid dream. After my end of the world dream, I had a not-so-good dream where I was running the WHOLE time, trying to get away from a really scary thing/person (haha). The cool part about this dream is that I sought refuge at Siene's house which had been turned into a really high-tech mall which also had condos and stuff. It was pretty legit!
Last night was a great dream though. It was of HIM and me and in my dream we were happy without regard of other people's opinion. We went adventuring on car escalators and elevators (hehe, much like we do in real life), and he kept me safe from the scary parts of our adventure, and he reassured me that he's still there. And the best part?
Waking up and seeing that he was. (:
Last night was a great dream though. It was of HIM and me and in my dream we were happy without regard of other people's opinion. We went adventuring on car escalators and elevators (hehe, much like we do in real life), and he kept me safe from the scary parts of our adventure, and he reassured me that he's still there. And the best part?
Waking up and seeing that he was. (:
Saturday, November 15, 2008
Dreams Say it All?
My dream last night...
I don't exactly know where I was at but I was in like a neighborhood or area where all the houses were just open and people could come in and out as they please (kinda like a frat row type of area if you could imagine that). I was in one of the houses with my sister and this blonde-hair, blue-eyes guy came and he was trying to spit game.. Then a few minutes later this light-skinned, green-eyes black guy came and was trying to get with me too. The problem was, I couldn't decide who was cuter (or if I even thought either of them was cute) and my sister didn't know how to help me.
Then all of a sudden there was an end of the world scares so we all had to file into lines and go to a shelter. My mom was there too but we got separated cuz we ended up in different lines, and the people I was trying to ask where my mom was didn't know how to speak English. So I abandoned my line and I eventually found her but by that time the scare was over and everyone was let free.
So I went outside and there was barely anyone out there.. The place looked abandoned, but it looked like it had gone under attack. So i sought refuge in a store and it turned out to be an electronics/computer store and my dad was in there. We were looking at laptops and there were these two laptops side by side, one HP for $600, and one Mac for $300. But the problem with these laptops was that were big (more than 15 inches!). My dad was like, See look how cheap they are! But I was like, But those are big like my old one and I can't take it to class! So I somehow wandered to the back room of the store and found this 13-inch Toshiba and it was $2150.. And I was like, See, dad this is what I wanted! And he was like, Ohhhhhh.
And that was pretty much the end of my dream.
Pretty random, no? (:
I don't exactly know where I was at but I was in like a neighborhood or area where all the houses were just open and people could come in and out as they please (kinda like a frat row type of area if you could imagine that). I was in one of the houses with my sister and this blonde-hair, blue-eyes guy came and he was trying to spit game.. Then a few minutes later this light-skinned, green-eyes black guy came and was trying to get with me too. The problem was, I couldn't decide who was cuter (or if I even thought either of them was cute) and my sister didn't know how to help me.
Then all of a sudden there was an end of the world scares so we all had to file into lines and go to a shelter. My mom was there too but we got separated cuz we ended up in different lines, and the people I was trying to ask where my mom was didn't know how to speak English. So I abandoned my line and I eventually found her but by that time the scare was over and everyone was let free.
So I went outside and there was barely anyone out there.. The place looked abandoned, but it looked like it had gone under attack. So i sought refuge in a store and it turned out to be an electronics/computer store and my dad was in there. We were looking at laptops and there were these two laptops side by side, one HP for $600, and one Mac for $300. But the problem with these laptops was that were big (more than 15 inches!). My dad was like, See look how cheap they are! But I was like, But those are big like my old one and I can't take it to class! So I somehow wandered to the back room of the store and found this 13-inch Toshiba and it was $2150.. And I was like, See, dad this is what I wanted! And he was like, Ohhhhhh.
And that was pretty much the end of my dream.
Pretty random, no? (:
Underneath it All
Today I was on Facebook reading my News Feed (some like to call it the Stalker Page, haha) and I chanced upon a video my friend had uploaded of himself. My friend is a bboy, meaning he break dances and does all that muscular stuff that muscular guys do when they break dance. Except it was a different video this time. It was a video of him doing a lyrical dance piece.
I was absolutely amazed.
I never would have guessed that my bboy friend could perform something so beautiful and moving as I saw in his video. I guess I had already created the notion in my head that he did one thing and only one thing. And that just made me think. People really do surprise you.. And no matter how much you think you may know a person, there's only so much you really do know, and so much left to discover.
It really was so beautiful to find that video of him. I'm glad he uploaded it.
Another eye-opening experience.. Cuz there's always so much more to learn about the people in your life.
(:
I was absolutely amazed.
I never would have guessed that my bboy friend could perform something so beautiful and moving as I saw in his video. I guess I had already created the notion in my head that he did one thing and only one thing. And that just made me think. People really do surprise you.. And no matter how much you think you may know a person, there's only so much you really do know, and so much left to discover.
It really was so beautiful to find that video of him. I'm glad he uploaded it.
Another eye-opening experience.. Cuz there's always so much more to learn about the people in your life.
(:
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
AiR at Halloween Show!
The videos of AiR's performance at the UCCE Halloween Show! Special thanks to "dabby123" (aka Chris Seymour's dad) for taking these videos!
1. It's All Been Done (Barenaked Ladies)
2. Kill the Girl (A twist on The Little Mermaid's Kiss the Girl)
3. Thriller (Michael Jackson)
Enjoy!
1. It's All Been Done (Barenaked Ladies)
2. Kill the Girl (A twist on The Little Mermaid's Kiss the Girl)
3. Thriller (Michael Jackson)
Enjoy!
Happy Veteran's Day!
In lieu of Veteran's Day, I have no school and no work today. Hooray! Usually on Tuesdays (and Thursdays) I'm in class from 930-2 and work 3-7. That's pretty much my whole day. So it's good to have a break from the same old routine that has grown to be soo mundane.
So a biiiig thank you to all the Veterans who have served (and those currently serving) our country! It really is greatly appreciated. (:
Speaking of, I miss my brother!
On another note, AiR has had several performances these past couple of days, and we have yet more to come. Come out if you can!
AiR Upcoming Events:
11/15 West Coast A Cappella Showcase @ Wheeler Auditorium
11/18 Big Sing (Cal v. Stanford) @ 155 Dwinelle
12/04 AiR Guest Performance @ SF Exploratorium
12/05 AiR Fall Showcase @ 105 North Gate
12/06 AiR Fall Showcase @ 105 North Gate
& Every Monday on Upper Sproul in front of Sather Gate, 12pm. (:
As for my day off today, it's time to get some productivity going! Laundry, reading, essay writing, arranging.. Ahh, literally so much to do with sooo little time!
So a biiiig thank you to all the Veterans who have served (and those currently serving) our country! It really is greatly appreciated. (:
Speaking of, I miss my brother!
On another note, AiR has had several performances these past couple of days, and we have yet more to come. Come out if you can!
AiR Upcoming Events:
11/15 West Coast A Cappella Showcase @ Wheeler Auditorium
11/18 Big Sing (Cal v. Stanford) @ 155 Dwinelle
12/04 AiR Guest Performance @ SF Exploratorium
12/05 AiR Fall Showcase @ 105 North Gate
12/06 AiR Fall Showcase @ 105 North Gate
& Every Monday on Upper Sproul in front of Sather Gate, 12pm. (:
As for my day off today, it's time to get some productivity going! Laundry, reading, essay writing, arranging.. Ahh, literally so much to do with sooo little time!
Sunday, November 9, 2008
Lack of
That reassurance I was once so sure about is no longer there. Here I stand, yet again, waiting. waiting. waiting.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Halloween Weekend!
Haha, so it's been a week since Halloween Weekend and it was def the best Halloween I've ever had! Thursday night started off with an AiR halloween performance, and the evening was spent at Lambda's with some of my favorite boys (and of course, my favorite girl). Friday was spent in Santa Barbara with the awesome craziness of Halloween in Santa Barbara. And Saturday night was hella chill with some of my other favorite boys (Mani & co.!). Some of the details of the weekend are hazy, but it was def the funnest Halloween I have had, ever. Needless to say, I doubt I will ever party that hard for Halloween again. But I'm glad I got to experience it all! -- The dressing up, the going to SB, the haziness of it all.. (:
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Positive Progression
After the craziest election day in American history, our president for the next four years is President-elect Barack Obama.
Many of you may have voted for or against Obama, but regardless, we should be celebrating another defeat in American history -- the defeat over nationalized racism against minorities.
As a political science / legal studies major at UC Berkeley, I'm constantly reading up court cases highlighting the unfair treatment of minorities. And it was only 44 years ago, with the passage of the Civil Rights Act of 1964, that race discrimination was officially made illegal in America. Forty-four years ago. There had been several attempts prior to that, which, sadly, did not pass. Think about that, cuz 44 years was definitely not long ago at all.
I honestly did not think I would be alive to see a non-white president in office. I always knew it would happen, but I thought it would be years and years from now. It makes me really proud to be an American (I know, sounds cliche) but seriously.. To know that we have been working toward justice and equality for all.. And nothing says justice more than voting into the position of Executive a man whose race had suffered severe discrimination in the country he has now been appointed to lead.
Change has DEFINITELY come to America and it is time to embrace it. Let's keep the momentum going and support our new president in all his endeavors. He's here to represent us -- and we must do the same for him.
We're living history.. And it feels so incredibly amazing!
And just a funny aside:
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
Election Day!!
Today is Election Day, so get out there and ROCK THE VOTE! Whatever or whoever you believe in, let it be known on your ballot.
Don't let the chance to make a change pass you by!
Get out there and vote!
Polls have been open since 7am and will be open until 8pm.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
Reassurance
When I first asked why, he said:
"Usually I would just say you deserve better.. But I can't cuz I'd be lying cuz I know I could be the best for you."
Ahh! So far, so good.
How amaaazing
"Usually I would just say you deserve better.. But I can't cuz I'd be lying cuz I know I could be the best for you."
Ahh! So far, so good.
How amaaazing
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Random & Uninmportant!
Things I Need to Do SOON:
- Study Abroad application (w/ ESSAY!)
- Double major declaration for Legal Studies
- Arrange "Angels" ASAP
- Read read read
- Plan accordingly for SB trip this weekend!
Things I Need to Save Up For:
- A NEW LAPTOP (mine is about to die!)
- Keyboard (life sucks without keys)
- An external (don't really need to save, just need to get it)
- Trips next year!
I've got a lot to do and sooo little time!
- Study Abroad application (w/ ESSAY!)
- Double major declaration for Legal Studies
- Arrange "Angels" ASAP
- Read read read
- Plan accordingly for SB trip this weekend!
Things I Need to Save Up For:
- A NEW LAPTOP (mine is about to die!)
- Keyboard (life sucks without keys)
- An external (don't really need to save, just need to get it)
- Trips next year!
I've got a lot to do and sooo little time!
Monday, October 27, 2008
Matters of the Heart..
When it comes to matters of the heart, I am definitely not the most rational person. When I learn to let my guard down, I always tend to give too much of myself and I always end up getting hurt. It's happened over and over again but I always let it. That's just how I am.
This time around I want to say that it's different with him. It's definitely nothing new, but the tables were indeed turned -- his guard was down when mine wasn't. And I know how much it SUCKS to be in that position, cuz he put me there before.. But nevertheless, he stuck around. He "owed it to me" to wait for me cuz I did for him (to no avail at the time).
I like to believe the best in people. And this time I can say that everything feels different and better. He doesn't spite me for going out with other guys, hooka-ing or drinking or even just having dinner (one-on-one or not). He trusts me (something that my last relationship severely lacked), despite me having wronged him before. I don't have to change any part of me when I'm with him. And he's not afraid to hurt my feelings just as much as I'm not afraid to hurt his. I never have to tiptoe around anything I'm feeling or doing. He just gets me.
Despite all our differences (we're really, really different), he's my perfect complement.
We'll see where we're headed this time.
But for now I can say that I'm happy it's him. (:
This time around I want to say that it's different with him. It's definitely nothing new, but the tables were indeed turned -- his guard was down when mine wasn't. And I know how much it SUCKS to be in that position, cuz he put me there before.. But nevertheless, he stuck around. He "owed it to me" to wait for me cuz I did for him (to no avail at the time).
I like to believe the best in people. And this time I can say that everything feels different and better. He doesn't spite me for going out with other guys, hooka-ing or drinking or even just having dinner (one-on-one or not). He trusts me (something that my last relationship severely lacked), despite me having wronged him before. I don't have to change any part of me when I'm with him. And he's not afraid to hurt my feelings just as much as I'm not afraid to hurt his. I never have to tiptoe around anything I'm feeling or doing. He just gets me.
Despite all our differences (we're really, really different), he's my perfect complement.
We'll see where we're headed this time.
But for now I can say that I'm happy it's him. (:
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Abraham Obama!
So the other night I had a dream that Siene stole weed from some cops and then smoked that weed with Abraham Lincoln.
Random right?! HAHA.
Anyway, I like Siene's blog post on it so here:
http://s1ene.blogspot.com/2008/10/weird-asss-dream.html
Abraham Obama -- I'm feelin it.
Random right?! HAHA.
Anyway, I like Siene's blog post on it so here:
http://s1ene.blogspot.com/2008/10/weird-asss-dream.html
Abraham Obama -- I'm feelin it.
Sometimes, Being Busy Sucks...
Sometimes, being busy sucks for the both of us because there are times (like right now, and lately!) when I just want to spend time with you and remind myself that you're not going anywhere. Sorry if it's a lot to ask. I just hate waiting. Waiting waiting waiting.. I feel like I'm always stuck in the same positions.
But I cannot wait until tomorrow night at 7pm when my school WEEK will be over, and I will be officially dunzo with this semester's midterms! Weee.
Just gotta grind it out.
But I cannot wait until tomorrow night at 7pm when my school WEEK will be over, and I will be officially dunzo with this semester's midterms! Weee.
Just gotta grind it out.
Monday, October 20, 2008
BE the Change!
Just a reminder,
Like Gandhi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
TODAY is the LAST DAY to REGISTER TO VOTE!
Get on it! When given the privilege and opportunity to make a difference and make change, take it. Exercise your rights the right way!Like Gandhi says, "Be the change you wish to see in the world."
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Roots -- A Musical HIGH
Last night I went to San Jose State to watch the Roots and Gym Class Heroes live. This was my second time seeing the Roots live and they were still as amazing (if not more) than the last time I saw them. The show really made you realize just how TALENTED those fellas are -- it was just real, raw, GOOD music. I can't even explain how musically high I was after their show!
And to top it off, MOS DEF made a special guest appearance cuz he was in the area. I was trippin off that too!
Gym Class Heroes was also good. I don't really listen to their stuff but man they know how to perform live. I was actually very impressed with their musicianship too, especially cuz I could just imagine how daunting it would be to open for the musical genius of the Roots. They brought it just as hard and the whole night was seriously off the hook.
And Estelle did her thang last night as well. She was the only female on stage the whole night but man she knew how to command it. Her soulful voice was the perfect complement to both of those amazing bands' sets.
And to top it off, MOS DEF made a special guest appearance cuz he was in the area. I was trippin off that too!
Gym Class Heroes was also good. I don't really listen to their stuff but man they know how to perform live. I was actually very impressed with their musicianship too, especially cuz I could just imagine how daunting it would be to open for the musical genius of the Roots. They brought it just as hard and the whole night was seriously off the hook.
And Estelle did her thang last night as well. She was the only female on stage the whole night but man she knew how to command it. Her soulful voice was the perfect complement to both of those amazing bands' sets.
Thursday, October 16, 2008
Tuesday, October 14, 2008
Say NO to Right-Wing Extremism
I was watching a Free Speech / Democracy Now program last night regarding the November presidential elections and am becoming exceedingly more distraught regarding our current American political situation.
The program pointed out how at several McCain/Palin rallies there have been people yelling things like "Kill him!" and "Terrorist!" about the Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama.. To which both Republican candidates failed to reply.
I'm not saying I'm against the platforms on which McCain's campaign stands. My biggest problem with McCain is that while promoting his platforms, he (and Palin) embellishes his campaign by making statements that Obama is in cooperation with terrorists and that he isn't pro-America as much as McCain. And I am SO AGAINST the right-wing extremism that continues to be fostered by both McCain and Palin's accusation of Obama as anti-America AND their failure to put down the threats to Obama's life and false accusations of Obama as a terrorist.
Show me a presidential hopeful that focuses on the NEED FOR CHANGE for America WITHOUT having to win the election by making false accusations against your presidential opponent. Show me INTEGRITY.
Why would you want a president and vice-president who foster such deep-seated hatred in America? Why would you want right-wing extremists running our country who will continue to ignore racism in our multi-cultural nation?
Elections are coming up within a month. Don't catch yourself misinformed..
Vote for someone who will make the RIGHT changes and foster the RIGHT ideals.
KEEP YOURSELF EDUCATED!
The program pointed out how at several McCain/Palin rallies there have been people yelling things like "Kill him!" and "Terrorist!" about the Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama.. To which both Republican candidates failed to reply.
I'm not saying I'm against the platforms on which McCain's campaign stands. My biggest problem with McCain is that while promoting his platforms, he (and Palin) embellishes his campaign by making statements that Obama is in cooperation with terrorists and that he isn't pro-America as much as McCain. And I am SO AGAINST the right-wing extremism that continues to be fostered by both McCain and Palin's accusation of Obama as anti-America AND their failure to put down the threats to Obama's life and false accusations of Obama as a terrorist.
Show me a presidential hopeful that focuses on the NEED FOR CHANGE for America WITHOUT having to win the election by making false accusations against your presidential opponent. Show me INTEGRITY.
Why would you want a president and vice-president who foster such deep-seated hatred in America? Why would you want right-wing extremists running our country who will continue to ignore racism in our multi-cultural nation?
Elections are coming up within a month. Don't catch yourself misinformed..
Vote for someone who will make the RIGHT changes and foster the RIGHT ideals.
KEEP YOURSELF EDUCATED!
Monday, October 13, 2008
Thursday, October 9, 2008
So You Can Cryy.
First I gotta say, I have absolutely fallen in love with Ne-Yo's new album, Year of the Gentleman. Peep game on it!
http://www.yearofthegentleman.com
My faves are So You Can Cry, Miss Independent, Closer, & Single (without New Kids on the Block).
Right now I'm listening to Kanye's "Love Lockdown" and as much as I want to love it cuz it's Kanye, I'm just not all that hyped about it. He's such a talented musician and producer that it really bugs me that he's on that auto-tune hype. Hopefully I'm more satisfied with the other tracks on his upcoming album.. Haven't heard any of it yet but I AM curious to hear what he's come up with. I completely respect him as an artist and am just waiting to hear what's next.
So peep game on this too:
Anyway. I must say that I'm feeling a billion times better than I have this past week. After being sick for a couple of days and confining myself to my bed, then having to write a 5 page paper and take an all-essay writing midterm, I'm back to being good. This morning I woke up around 845am and hopped in the shower all quick, rushing to make it to my 930am class. Too bad when I got to class I had found out it was canceled. What a bummer. I guess that's what I get for being sick and not getting all the announcements... But luckily my 11am today is canceled too. Three free hours! Yeeee son.
Everyday I'm realizing how AWESOME the people in my life are. I'm so not down for those complicated situations. Everyone in my life just has that understanding, where we're doing our own thing, happy when someone else is happy, and not trying to restrict each other from doing what we gotta. We don't have to answer to nooo oonnneee and I'm so so good with that (;
Anyway, till next time.
LAAAAATE.
http://www.yearofthegentleman.com
My faves are So You Can Cry, Miss Independent, Closer, & Single (without New Kids on the Block).
Right now I'm listening to Kanye's "Love Lockdown" and as much as I want to love it cuz it's Kanye, I'm just not all that hyped about it. He's such a talented musician and producer that it really bugs me that he's on that auto-tune hype. Hopefully I'm more satisfied with the other tracks on his upcoming album.. Haven't heard any of it yet but I AM curious to hear what he's come up with. I completely respect him as an artist and am just waiting to hear what's next.
So peep game on this too:
Anyway. I must say that I'm feeling a billion times better than I have this past week. After being sick for a couple of days and confining myself to my bed, then having to write a 5 page paper and take an all-essay writing midterm, I'm back to being good. This morning I woke up around 845am and hopped in the shower all quick, rushing to make it to my 930am class. Too bad when I got to class I had found out it was canceled. What a bummer. I guess that's what I get for being sick and not getting all the announcements... But luckily my 11am today is canceled too. Three free hours! Yeeee son.
Everyday I'm realizing how AWESOME the people in my life are. I'm so not down for those complicated situations. Everyone in my life just has that understanding, where we're doing our own thing, happy when someone else is happy, and not trying to restrict each other from doing what we gotta. We don't have to answer to nooo oonnneee and I'm so so good with that (;
Anyway, till next time.
LAAAAATE.
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Let's Be Sincere
The reason my head was killing me last night was cuz I had a fever. I guess that explains that body aches, headache, eye sore, skin aches. I missed a lot of class today AND work so that really sucked. I was stuck in bed ALL DAY and now that I'm actually feeling functional I have to work on a paper AND study for tomorrow's midterm.
Man, my timing is impeccable.
Anyway. I've realized how much I hate insincerity. I guess that's why it's hard for me to keep friends -- I'd rather not deal with a lot of the crap that comes with trying to make friends. Pretending like you care about some things when you really don't.. Cuz a lot of the things people have to say are pointless, and I'm not gonna be the one to sit around and listen, pretending that it's not. Sure, may seem harsh but hey. Just saying.
On that note, I hate it when people do that to me. Pretend like they care about what's going on in my life when they really don't. I don't need anyone to be fake around me. I have enough people to take care of me and care about me and I don't need anyone's insincerity to mess that up for me.
If you're gonna ask about me, mean it.
I'd love it if you'd be sincere.
Man, my timing is impeccable.
Anyway. I've realized how much I hate insincerity. I guess that's why it's hard for me to keep friends -- I'd rather not deal with a lot of the crap that comes with trying to make friends. Pretending like you care about some things when you really don't.. Cuz a lot of the things people have to say are pointless, and I'm not gonna be the one to sit around and listen, pretending that it's not. Sure, may seem harsh but hey. Just saying.
On that note, I hate it when people do that to me. Pretend like they care about what's going on in my life when they really don't. I don't need anyone to be fake around me. I have enough people to take care of me and care about me and I don't need anyone's insincerity to mess that up for me.
If you're gonna ask about me, mean it.
I'd love it if you'd be sincere.
Monday, October 6, 2008
Longest. Day. Everrr.
It is now 10pm on a Monday after another amaaazing weekend at home.. And it has seriously been the longest day ever. Could be because I slept at 4am and woke up at 6am and have been doing class, singing, class, walking, class, blah blah blah all day. Way too much today. But that's the life of a college student right? Ugh.
Anyway. I'm sitting in a building on campus surrounded by a lot of really smart people who are programming or studying or discussing. Whatever smart people do. While on the other hand I'm sitting in the corner "writing my paper" but actually really just watching Youtube videos and vibing to my own. Crazy how I'm actually getting on in this school...
With a paper due Wednesday, and a midterm that same day!
I. FAIL.
Anyway. I would like to blame my lack of motivation on this fat headache I have. So.. We could leave it at that. (;
And yeah. This was a pretty pointless post but since everything else I'm doing right now is pointless I might as well right?
Ugh. Back to more pointless "writing."
Anyway. I'm sitting in a building on campus surrounded by a lot of really smart people who are programming or studying or discussing. Whatever smart people do. While on the other hand I'm sitting in the corner "writing my paper" but actually really just watching Youtube videos and vibing to my own. Crazy how I'm actually getting on in this school...
With a paper due Wednesday, and a midterm that same day!
I. FAIL.
Anyway. I would like to blame my lack of motivation on this fat headache I have. So.. We could leave it at that. (;
And yeah. This was a pretty pointless post but since everything else I'm doing right now is pointless I might as well right?
Ugh. Back to more pointless "writing."
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
PS, I'm Filipino.
Let me first off explain that it is now my THIRD year here at UC Berkeley. I absolutely love the people I have met and become good friends with, and am quite grateful that my lack of social skills hasn't left me completely friend-less (cuz I do have some of theee most awesome friends up here!).
Anyway. Back to my story. I've been at Berkeley for three years and have not once decided to get involved in the Filipino community. I don't know why. I guess cuz in high school I wasn't really all that into it. It's ironic cuz ALL (or well, MOST) of my friends in SD are Filipino.. Huh. Anyway, yesterday I went to a meeting with my roommate. Surprisingly, it was for a Filipino organization (note: my roommate isn't Filipino!). So I went. And it was good. And I met a lot of friendly people (which might explain why I never became really good friends with them.. I suck at being really friendly sometimes). Anyway. At the end of the meeting everyone was just talking/socializing/eating. And a guy comes up to me and my roommate. And the following conversation (or well, something similar) ensues:
Boy: Oh hey I've never seen you guys here before!
Me/Roommate: Yeah it's our first time.
Boy: Oh are you guys first years?!
Me/Roommate: Um, no.. We're third years.
Boy: Oh, you guys are junior transfers?!
Me: Um, no.. I've been here since my freshman year.
Boy: .. Oh.
So after this conversation, I felt a little bit upset. I guess I really just didn't appreciate how he went to assume that I, being a Filipino, was either a freshman or a junior TRANSFER simply because I hadn't been at any Filipino organization/meeting/event since coming to Berkeley.
I wasn't aware of the expectation that all Filipinos had to be in a Filipino organization to be accepted.
It never crossed my mind that I should join a Filipino group. None of the Filipinos really "reached out" to me to join their little groups. Plus, I already felt ostracized after my first year since I had already noticed that they had formed a clique. I hate cliques (middle school experiences that will haunt me for life).
What really gets me is that what he doesn't realize is that life for Filipinos IS possible even if you're not involved in one of their organizations. Don't get me wrong, I highly respect their groups and the purposes of those groups. But come on now, let's not jump to conclusions that any Filipino not in a Filipino group is new to Berkeley. That's a bit ignorant if you ask my opinion.
So to end my story, I just want to say that I've been at UC Berkeley since Fall 2006. I've known that I've wanted to go to Berkeley since fourth grade. I'm a political science and legal studies double major. I sing in an a cappella group on campus. And I'm Filipino.
If that's not good enough for you,
then you're really not worth my time.
THAT IS ALL!
Anyway. Back to my story. I've been at Berkeley for three years and have not once decided to get involved in the Filipino community. I don't know why. I guess cuz in high school I wasn't really all that into it. It's ironic cuz ALL (or well, MOST) of my friends in SD are Filipino.. Huh. Anyway, yesterday I went to a meeting with my roommate. Surprisingly, it was for a Filipino organization (note: my roommate isn't Filipino!). So I went. And it was good. And I met a lot of friendly people (which might explain why I never became really good friends with them.. I suck at being really friendly sometimes). Anyway. At the end of the meeting everyone was just talking/socializing/eating. And a guy comes up to me and my roommate. And the following conversation (or well, something similar) ensues:
Boy: Oh hey I've never seen you guys here before!
Me/Roommate: Yeah it's our first time.
Boy: Oh are you guys first years?!
Me/Roommate: Um, no.. We're third years.
Boy: Oh, you guys are junior transfers?!
Me: Um, no.. I've been here since my freshman year.
Boy: .. Oh.
So after this conversation, I felt a little bit upset. I guess I really just didn't appreciate how he went to assume that I, being a Filipino, was either a freshman or a junior TRANSFER simply because I hadn't been at any Filipino organization/meeting/event since coming to Berkeley.
I wasn't aware of the expectation that all Filipinos had to be in a Filipino organization to be accepted.
It never crossed my mind that I should join a Filipino group. None of the Filipinos really "reached out" to me to join their little groups. Plus, I already felt ostracized after my first year since I had already noticed that they had formed a clique. I hate cliques (middle school experiences that will haunt me for life).
What really gets me is that what he doesn't realize is that life for Filipinos IS possible even if you're not involved in one of their organizations. Don't get me wrong, I highly respect their groups and the purposes of those groups. But come on now, let's not jump to conclusions that any Filipino not in a Filipino group is new to Berkeley. That's a bit ignorant if you ask my opinion.
So to end my story, I just want to say that I've been at UC Berkeley since Fall 2006. I've known that I've wanted to go to Berkeley since fourth grade. I'm a political science and legal studies double major. I sing in an a cappella group on campus. And I'm Filipino.
If that's not good enough for you,
then you're really not worth my time.
THAT IS ALL!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Go Bears!
I went to the California Berkeley vs. Colorado State University football game today. We shut down CSU 42-7. (: Talk about amazing! Our team but especially our defense was on fiiiire. But forreal. We scored off a blocked punt, interceptions, kick off return.. Pretty sweet if I do say so myself. I love football!.. And I'm glad my team did well today.
I'm praying for the Chargers to do as well tomorrow too! They're up here in Raider Nation playing at the Coliseum. It's gonna be rowdy in the East Bay tomorrow.. Especially since Berk is so close to Oak! But I love my Bolts and I know they'll hold it down for SD!
Anyway. I don't know why but this whole day I've had Chris Brown's "Take You Down" stuck in my head the whole day! Haha. And I keep playing it on repeat now. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway:
I've also had an obsession with Gabe Bondoc lately. (:
Anddd I'm so glad things are looking up now. No more of this distance thing, I'm gonna be on a good one from now on. And tho things aren't the same, I'm just glad to have it back. (:
I'm praying for the Chargers to do as well tomorrow too! They're up here in Raider Nation playing at the Coliseum. It's gonna be rowdy in the East Bay tomorrow.. Especially since Berk is so close to Oak! But I love my Bolts and I know they'll hold it down for SD!
Anyway. I don't know why but this whole day I've had Chris Brown's "Take You Down" stuck in my head the whole day! Haha. And I keep playing it on repeat now. Yeah, I don't know. Anyway:
I've also had an obsession with Gabe Bondoc lately. (:
Anddd I'm so glad things are looking up now. No more of this distance thing, I'm gonna be on a good one from now on. And tho things aren't the same, I'm just glad to have it back. (:
Friday, September 26, 2008
Sleepy is Kicking In.
So the paper that's due today was sooo sucky. Real talk! I didn't end up starting until around 8pm, and I worked until 230am.. With the regular distractions of Youtube, Gabe Bondoc, and personal matters. I then proceeded to nap. Except. You know when you try to sleep, but you have something so pressing on your mind, that you can't? That's what happened. I had the most restless sleep (if you can even call if that). In and out of being awake until 830am. Then I finally decided I was okay enough (as in, non-delirious enough) to finish my paper. And I did, at 11am. Haha.
But really, never again will I do that to myself. That's some unnecessary stress!
Anyway, last night. One of my distractions was hilarious. My sister IMed me telling me that my dad had made an AIM SN so that we could video chat. HAHA. So I ended up video chatting with my dad, sister, and Allan. It was funny!
And it's finally a new day. The stress of papers is done. Picked up a couple extra hours at work to make them end$. And from here on out I'm staying on my griind. Ya dig?
Also, I've realized (or more like re-realized) what it is I want. And why it's worth it. And thus why I shouldn't give up. So there. (:
PS,
You're the sh*t.. Shawty. (;
But really, never again will I do that to myself. That's some unnecessary stress!
Anyway, last night. One of my distractions was hilarious. My sister IMed me telling me that my dad had made an AIM SN so that we could video chat. HAHA. So I ended up video chatting with my dad, sister, and Allan. It was funny!
And it's finally a new day. The stress of papers is done. Picked up a couple extra hours at work to make them end$. And from here on out I'm staying on my griind. Ya dig?
Also, I've realized (or more like re-realized) what it is I want. And why it's worth it. And thus why I shouldn't give up. So there. (:
PS,
You're the sh*t.. Shawty. (;
Thursday, September 25, 2008
IT IS WHAT IT IS
It's come to my realization that I gotta stop moping around and get out of this slump that I am currently in. I've been no bueno these past couple days cuz of some personal shit.
& I know that I may just be saying this cuz I got a lot on my mind, but the real point is that life doesn't stop for ANYBODY, no matter how tragic things may get. In my situation, it got to the point where I wasn't going to class, wasn't doing my work, wasn't answering calls. But that's not the me that I love. You know? I just gotta keep workin the me that stays on her griind, and the me that keeps doing what she loves. And that's real shit (tho).
There's still no doubts as to how I'm feeling, and nothing can change that until I'm ready. But on the realest level I can't let that be at the center of my actions. I just gotta take the good in with the bad and hope (& know) that there will be better days.
Aaaaand as a result of that slump, I am now stuck writing my entire 5-page paper in one less-than-24-hour sitting. This is what I get. Haha. Self-punishment. My bad tho -_-. Soo I think I've learned my lesson, or at least have felt the repercussions of my actions/behavior/reactions. I cannot keep doing this to myself. I really gotta stay on my griind..
On a separate note, I was on Google in class (haha) and stumbled upon a "1001 List of Books to Read Before You Die" .. And I was going to adopt this as a personal thing to do.. I went through the list and saw that I've read like 20 or so of those books. But I decided against taking this list on as a personal goal because there is too great an emphasis on modern (late 1900s-2000s) books rather than an emphasis on the classics. Because there are sooo many classics that I would love to read! Don't get me wrong, there are a handful of modern books I love too, but I think I will start compiling my own list of books to read before I die (:
& on that note, any suggestions? Cuz I gotta get back in the reading game soooon. Almost forgot how much I love it..
Anyway. Back to writing this stupid paper. Haha. Just kidding. It's actually really not stupid. It's a really interesting topic about the modes of interpreting the Constitution (primarily Supreme Court Justices Scalia and Brennan). It's been a blast so far and I think I only have four more pages to go (haha).
LAAATE.
& I know that I may just be saying this cuz I got a lot on my mind, but the real point is that life doesn't stop for ANYBODY, no matter how tragic things may get. In my situation, it got to the point where I wasn't going to class, wasn't doing my work, wasn't answering calls. But that's not the me that I love. You know? I just gotta keep workin the me that stays on her griind, and the me that keeps doing what she loves. And that's real shit (tho).
There's still no doubts as to how I'm feeling, and nothing can change that until I'm ready. But on the realest level I can't let that be at the center of my actions. I just gotta take the good in with the bad and hope (& know) that there will be better days.
Aaaaand as a result of that slump, I am now stuck writing my entire 5-page paper in one less-than-24-hour sitting. This is what I get. Haha. Self-punishment. My bad tho -_-. Soo I think I've learned my lesson, or at least have felt the repercussions of my actions/behavior/reactions. I cannot keep doing this to myself. I really gotta stay on my griind..
On a separate note, I was on Google in class (haha) and stumbled upon a "1001 List of Books to Read Before You Die" .. And I was going to adopt this as a personal thing to do.. I went through the list and saw that I've read like 20 or so of those books. But I decided against taking this list on as a personal goal because there is too great an emphasis on modern (late 1900s-2000s) books rather than an emphasis on the classics. Because there are sooo many classics that I would love to read! Don't get me wrong, there are a handful of modern books I love too, but I think I will start compiling my own list of books to read before I die (:
& on that note, any suggestions? Cuz I gotta get back in the reading game soooon. Almost forgot how much I love it..
Anyway. Back to writing this stupid paper. Haha. Just kidding. It's actually really not stupid. It's a really interesting topic about the modes of interpreting the Constitution (primarily Supreme Court Justices Scalia and Brennan). It's been a blast so far and I think I only have four more pages to go (haha).
LAAATE.
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Out of My Element..
This thing I've been going through has really been taking a toll on me and taking all my energy. It's nooo bueno, cuz I have piles and piles of work to catch up on. So I gotta get back on it.
I'm by no means back to being okay, but I guess I gotta keep myself busy so I could keep my mind off of the things that are keeping me from staying on my griind. I can no longer compromise my time with thinking and dwelling when I know there's nothing more I can do but wait, get by, do me.
So that's what I gotta do.
Things to save up for...
- A newwww laptop (cuz I want to spoil myself)
- A music player (cuz I don't have one.. Surprisingly enough)
- An external (cuz it's so necessary)
- New camcorder (cuz Paul and I fell in love with John's! haha)
Things to do this week...
- Analytic paper due this FRIDAY
- Catch up on like 500 pages of reading -_-
- Make sure my heart's okay, daily
And despite it all, you'll never know..
Monday, September 22, 2008
Necessary Strength.
I had a really good conversation with my mom today, after I finally let her know what's been going on with me.. why I was so quiet during our shopping excursions this past weekend and why I was always "sleeping" so early.
It was one of the hardest things for me to do, to let my mom know the thoughts in my mind and in my heart. I always let on, with all people but especially with her, that I'm so strong and that I can handle my own. I never ever emit vulnerability when it comes to personal things, with anyone.. My trust is hard to gain. And despite how especially hard it is for me to show her that I am weak sometimes, and I am vulnerable, and there are a few things in life that have affected my emotional well-being, she saw right through me. So I just told her everything.. And she completely understood and reminded me of why it's right.. And although I already knew, she reminded me that there are things in our lives that are there to teach us things. And I know I've learned/am still learning from this situation (although I wish it didn't have to be so final).
I continually vibe off of her strength, cuz when I don't have the necessary strength to get myself through tough situations, my mom is always there helping me keep my head up and reminding me that I'm strong too and that through my 20 years of living I have gotten through some really hard times. I love my mom for that.
And to this day I am STILL trying to learn how to put my trust in other people. And how to let down my guard once in a while and allow someone to help me get through my shit. Cuz I know that I can't keep trying to do everything alone.
It's just a matter of time.
It was one of the hardest things for me to do, to let my mom know the thoughts in my mind and in my heart. I always let on, with all people but especially with her, that I'm so strong and that I can handle my own. I never ever emit vulnerability when it comes to personal things, with anyone.. My trust is hard to gain. And despite how especially hard it is for me to show her that I am weak sometimes, and I am vulnerable, and there are a few things in life that have affected my emotional well-being, she saw right through me. So I just told her everything.. And she completely understood and reminded me of why it's right.. And although I already knew, she reminded me that there are things in our lives that are there to teach us things. And I know I've learned/am still learning from this situation (although I wish it didn't have to be so final).
I continually vibe off of her strength, cuz when I don't have the necessary strength to get myself through tough situations, my mom is always there helping me keep my head up and reminding me that I'm strong too and that through my 20 years of living I have gotten through some really hard times. I love my mom for that.
And to this day I am STILL trying to learn how to put my trust in other people. And how to let down my guard once in a while and allow someone to help me get through my shit. Cuz I know that I can't keep trying to do everything alone.
It's just a matter of time.
Sunday, September 21, 2008
"If you're a bird.."
My Dearest Allie,
I couldn't sleep last night because I know that it's over between us. I'm not bitter anymore, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I'll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that's what you've given me. That's what I hope to give to you forever.
I love you. I'll be seeing you.
Noah
.. Tell me why I ALWAYS cry during this scene. :P
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Growing Up?
I never really thought about it but growing up is one of the hardest things to do. You go through so many motions in life and have to discern what to keep in your life and what to move on from.
Today's my brother's birthday.. Happy 25th birthday kuya. This is the third birthday in a row that I didn't get to spend on him, since I moved away to college. Little did either of us know that after that first year (his 23rd birthday) we wouldn't be spending his birthday together for a while. He's one year into the US Navy now and has thus spent his past two birthdays serving the country.
He is one of the strongest people I know, and I greatly admire his courage and strength. It's really hard to be alone. Sometimes I complain about being so far from everyone here, not being with family and all.. But I'm blessed with some of the greatest friends here in Berkeley and the opportunity to go home whenever I want. My brother doesn't. He's stuck somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, floating around and "celebrating" his birthday without any of his family or friends there. Whenever I think about my bro, I realize that I really have NOTHING to be complaining about.
I think out of all the people I know, he's had the most drastic experience in growing up. It makes me really proud to know and love him, and it just reminds me that I have to do a lot of that too. Maybe not in the most extreme measures that he has, but definitely in my own way through my own efforts and will.
Looking at all this, I've learned that growing up means moving on.. which is hard. Especially when you move from a life you love to a life you never imagined or hoped for yourself. It's crazy how it takes so much sacrifice.. But in the end it's worth it. Growing up is a struggle, but a blessing too.
It's the process that makes it so crazy.
Today's my brother's birthday.. Happy 25th birthday kuya. This is the third birthday in a row that I didn't get to spend on him, since I moved away to college. Little did either of us know that after that first year (his 23rd birthday) we wouldn't be spending his birthday together for a while. He's one year into the US Navy now and has thus spent his past two birthdays serving the country.
He is one of the strongest people I know, and I greatly admire his courage and strength. It's really hard to be alone. Sometimes I complain about being so far from everyone here, not being with family and all.. But I'm blessed with some of the greatest friends here in Berkeley and the opportunity to go home whenever I want. My brother doesn't. He's stuck somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean, floating around and "celebrating" his birthday without any of his family or friends there. Whenever I think about my bro, I realize that I really have NOTHING to be complaining about.
I think out of all the people I know, he's had the most drastic experience in growing up. It makes me really proud to know and love him, and it just reminds me that I have to do a lot of that too. Maybe not in the most extreme measures that he has, but definitely in my own way through my own efforts and will.
Looking at all this, I've learned that growing up means moving on.. which is hard. Especially when you move from a life you love to a life you never imagined or hoped for yourself. It's crazy how it takes so much sacrifice.. But in the end it's worth it. Growing up is a struggle, but a blessing too.
It's the process that makes it so crazy.
Monday, September 15, 2008
In Full Force!
So it's about four weeks into the semester and I am on the griind in full force. I was looking at my planner today and I don't know how it got so full ALREADY, but week after week after week I have hefty assignments due, or big performances, or midterms, or I'm going home. I've been doing nothing but reading these past couple of days (with the exception of a few things, of course) and it's becoming seriously overwhelming. Nonetheless, I am learning so much and absorbing so much knowledge that I know my money and my parents' money are being put to good use. I guess that's the price I pay for double majoring in two law-related concentrations.. I end up with hundreds of pages of reading each night, numerous papers due throughout the semester, and the demand by our professors and instructors to think critically, analytically, politically, etc. But despite the challenge that comes from these reading-heavy courses and sacrificing going-out time to fulfill all my obligations and priorities, I am absolutely enjoying myself here at Berk this semester (.. so far).
As Amanda and I were singing yesterday.. "Welcome to the good liifeee!" Hahaha. (:
Anyway, I haven't really been doing much of anything else. Watched the Chargers game yesterday and sadlkfjdsal have my reservations and opinions about it but will leave it be for now. At least now both the players and the fans are all. fired. up. BOLTS, baby!
As Amanda and I were singing yesterday.. "Welcome to the good liifeee!" Hahaha. (:
Anyway, I haven't really been doing much of anything else. Watched the Chargers game yesterday and sadlkfjdsal have my reservations and opinions about it but will leave it be for now. At least now both the players and the fans are all. fired. up. BOLTS, baby!
Saturday, September 13, 2008
Complaints?
I have none, really. Except toward myself.
I've been trying to do me and be on that independent tip but I'm daily realizing that the me I've been living as.. The me that doesn't care about anyone or anything.. It's too selfish a lifestyle and there are soo many things I need to do to change for the better.
I can't keep doing this to myself and other people. I am slowly (but surely) realizing that I have to start being more mindful of what's around me. Have more regard for the people I care about. I mean yeah I'm up here in Berkeley staying on my griind but there are so many in-betweens in my life up here that I see now as inconsistent with what I am striving for.
There are so many things from my past that I'm not proud of.. No regrets, of course cuz I've learned from everything.. But it's time that I start putting those lessons into action. I can't justify any of my past wrongs, I can only make amends to my current self. If that means cutting people out of my life to keep the ones I love, then I just gotta do it. I can't keep living my life not being proud of myself. Cuz if I'm proud of myself in one aspect of my life but not in another, then it really does amount to nothing. I need to start being proud of my whole self and not just parts of it.
It's time to put things into perspective and start shaping up if I want to keep things right.
I really just hope that it's not too late..
I've been trying to do me and be on that independent tip but I'm daily realizing that the me I've been living as.. The me that doesn't care about anyone or anything.. It's too selfish a lifestyle and there are soo many things I need to do to change for the better.
I can't keep doing this to myself and other people. I am slowly (but surely) realizing that I have to start being more mindful of what's around me. Have more regard for the people I care about. I mean yeah I'm up here in Berkeley staying on my griind but there are so many in-betweens in my life up here that I see now as inconsistent with what I am striving for.
There are so many things from my past that I'm not proud of.. No regrets, of course cuz I've learned from everything.. But it's time that I start putting those lessons into action. I can't justify any of my past wrongs, I can only make amends to my current self. If that means cutting people out of my life to keep the ones I love, then I just gotta do it. I can't keep living my life not being proud of myself. Cuz if I'm proud of myself in one aspect of my life but not in another, then it really does amount to nothing. I need to start being proud of my whole self and not just parts of it.
It's time to put things into perspective and start shaping up if I want to keep things right.
I really just hope that it's not too late..
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Firsts.
The past couple of days have been quite interesting. I've been splitting my time between Berkeley and San Diego which seems impossible to say the least, considering the 500 miles that separate the two cities. I guess this fast-paced life has been catching up to me because I am currently sick. So boo to that!
Anywayyy, my time in SD was sooo well spent. Being home for the weekend was a trip because it was the first sober weekend I've had since probably last semester.. That's a trip. It's funny because allll summer I drank at almost every opportunity, and yet my first time being home since I came back up to Berkeley was one of the funnest sober times I've had since I could remember. Being around bestfriend, boyfriend, and family reminds me that I better make the most of my time up here and stay on my grind cuz I'm really sacrificing the most amazing love one could find.
On Sunday, I went to the SD Chargers v. Carolina Panthers game.. My first Chargers game ever! It was just the most amazing experience, aaaand I got to be with some of my favorite people. Plus my sister sang the National Anthem at the beginning! Which is crazy cuz it was the Chargers' season opener and not many people get that opportunity. Needless to say, the game was intense.. We all learned from that game that 2 seconds could really change everyyything. Ugh. But all in all the game was good and the Chargers will get it next time.
So I'm now back in Berkeley having gained a car up here but having lost my heart to SD yet again. It's a daily struggle to maintain sanity up here, but I just keep reminding myself that I'm on my grind for a reason and like I said I gotta make my sacrifices worth it.
PEAAACE.
Anywayyy, my time in SD was sooo well spent. Being home for the weekend was a trip because it was the first sober weekend I've had since probably last semester.. That's a trip. It's funny because allll summer I drank at almost every opportunity, and yet my first time being home since I came back up to Berkeley was one of the funnest sober times I've had since I could remember. Being around bestfriend, boyfriend, and family reminds me that I better make the most of my time up here and stay on my grind cuz I'm really sacrificing the most amazing love one could find.
On Sunday, I went to the SD Chargers v. Carolina Panthers game.. My first Chargers game ever! It was just the most amazing experience, aaaand I got to be with some of my favorite people. Plus my sister sang the National Anthem at the beginning! Which is crazy cuz it was the Chargers' season opener and not many people get that opportunity. Needless to say, the game was intense.. We all learned from that game that 2 seconds could really change everyyything. Ugh. But all in all the game was good and the Chargers will get it next time.
So I'm now back in Berkeley having gained a car up here but having lost my heart to SD yet again. It's a daily struggle to maintain sanity up here, but I just keep reminding myself that I'm on my grind for a reason and like I said I gotta make my sacrifices worth it.
PEAAACE.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Just Gotta Do It.
It was quite a long weekend and I can't believe that it is now (officially) Wednesday. Time flies
Friday night Amanda and I went to Lambdas which we hadn't done in a while. Like, a party party. Except, neither of us were feelin it and so we ended up just chillin in JMark's room with a couple of other people who weren't feelin the party party scene. It was interesting. There was a really douchey guy in there who really did not know how to keep his mouth shut. I honestly wanted to sock him in the face and didn't know why Amanda hadn't already done so. Then JMark ended up going back to the apartment with me and Amanda and we seriously just talked and caught up for a few hours. It was nice
Saturday was my first Cal football game. It was actually my first Cal football anything. As in, we went to frats before the game and did the whole "tail-gating at frats" thing. It was whatever haha. I really enjoyed being at the game tho. Made me feel like I had so much school spirit, something I've never really had in life :P. We beat Michigan State 38-31 although the score should've been so much better than that. Props to Riley for coming through for the team. Longshore on the other hand.. Ha
On Sunday I went to Church alone. It was a bittersweet thing for me to do, considering how homesick I am/was. Made my condition worse and things worsened throughout the night but it was nice to end the night watching a movie with a few good friends
My brother came by to visit me on Monday after I had AiR rehearsal. We just chilled here and hookah'd and watched some Discovery Channel. I miss chill nights like that with my bro.. It's crazy cuz he actually visited me at my own apartment in Berkeley, and it wasn't just straight chillin at our parents' house. Time really does fly. It's amazing to see that we're both on our paths to something greater than we both that we could get to. My bro's too awesome.
This post was unnecessarily long and I totally did not need to divulge all that information. Regardless, I had a pretty good weekend.
Friday night Amanda and I went to Lambdas which we hadn't done in a while. Like, a party party. Except, neither of us were feelin it and so we ended up just chillin in JMark's room with a couple of other people who weren't feelin the party party scene. It was interesting. There was a really douchey guy in there who really did not know how to keep his mouth shut. I honestly wanted to sock him in the face and didn't know why Amanda hadn't already done so. Then JMark ended up going back to the apartment with me and Amanda and we seriously just talked and caught up for a few hours. It was nice
Saturday was my first Cal football game. It was actually my first Cal football anything. As in, we went to frats before the game and did the whole "tail-gating at frats" thing. It was whatever haha. I really enjoyed being at the game tho. Made me feel like I had so much school spirit, something I've never really had in life :P. We beat Michigan State 38-31 although the score should've been so much better than that. Props to Riley for coming through for the team. Longshore on the other hand.. Ha
On Sunday I went to Church alone. It was a bittersweet thing for me to do, considering how homesick I am/was. Made my condition worse and things worsened throughout the night but it was nice to end the night watching a movie with a few good friends
My brother came by to visit me on Monday after I had AiR rehearsal. We just chilled here and hookah'd and watched some Discovery Channel. I miss chill nights like that with my bro.. It's crazy cuz he actually visited me at my own apartment in Berkeley, and it wasn't just straight chillin at our parents' house. Time really does fly. It's amazing to see that we're both on our paths to something greater than we both that we could get to. My bro's too awesome.
This post was unnecessarily long and I totally did not need to divulge all that information. Regardless, I had a pretty good weekend.
Friday, August 29, 2008
Determined.
I've been struggling to get through this week and I know from here on out it's only going to get harder. School, work, AiR, boyfriend, friends. It's hard to balance everything when you can only devote so much attention to so many things in any given time.
The first two day of school were pretty good. After meeting my instructors and professors, I got really excited to get on my griind. Haha, one of my professors has a reaaally thick accent that sounds like a mix of Sebastian and the chef from Little Mermaid and Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast.. It's gonna be an interesting semester with him haha. Other than classes, I got to walk around campus some and see a few people I hadn't seen in a while. I also watched some a cappella groups perform on Sproul which reminded me that AiR is about to start doing Sprouls, too. It's going to be hard to maintain energy and focus throughout the days with so much going on, but I just have to remember to stay on that grind. It's hard, but it's definitely manageable.
And going back to school also means going back to work. I was seriously dreading having to go back, but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I have some new co-workers, but my boss is still there for the time being. As long as I don't have to work those 8-10 hour shifts like I did last semester, I am straaaaight. Keep it short and simple. As long as I'm making my ends then that's all that matters.
I had a nice chat with my momma yesterday, and I miss her a lot. She and I have grown so much as mother and daughter, and I'm glad that I can see my own maturation through my relationship with her. I wouldn't have it any other way.. And I'm glad that despite all the things I've put her through in the past, she has forgiven me and never given up on me and my dreams. And to this day she is still pushing me to strive for something greater, and encouraging me to live my dreams so I don't look back on my past and regret anything. She's the best.
And though love sometimes hurts, I still put you first.
The first two day of school were pretty good. After meeting my instructors and professors, I got really excited to get on my griind. Haha, one of my professors has a reaaally thick accent that sounds like a mix of Sebastian and the chef from Little Mermaid and Lumiere from Beauty and the Beast.. It's gonna be an interesting semester with him haha. Other than classes, I got to walk around campus some and see a few people I hadn't seen in a while. I also watched some a cappella groups perform on Sproul which reminded me that AiR is about to start doing Sprouls, too. It's going to be hard to maintain energy and focus throughout the days with so much going on, but I just have to remember to stay on that grind. It's hard, but it's definitely manageable.
And going back to school also means going back to work. I was seriously dreading having to go back, but surprisingly it wasn't as bad as I thought it would be. I have some new co-workers, but my boss is still there for the time being. As long as I don't have to work those 8-10 hour shifts like I did last semester, I am straaaaight. Keep it short and simple. As long as I'm making my ends then that's all that matters.
I had a nice chat with my momma yesterday, and I miss her a lot. She and I have grown so much as mother and daughter, and I'm glad that I can see my own maturation through my relationship with her. I wouldn't have it any other way.. And I'm glad that despite all the things I've put her through in the past, she has forgiven me and never given up on me and my dreams. And to this day she is still pushing me to strive for something greater, and encouraging me to live my dreams so I don't look back on my past and regret anything. She's the best.
And though love sometimes hurts, I still put you first.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Miss Williams in My Dreams!
Literally! So I've been having weird dreams involving Pharrell Williams.. YUP. There it is. Haha.
Last week I had a dream that I went on tour with AiR and they decided to go out but I wanted to stay in the hotel. Coincidentally, Pharrell was staying in the saaaame hotel and we happen to meet up and vibe with it (non-sexually.. more like, musically). Then more coincidentally we end up staying in the same hotel room! So I had the big bed and he was still sitting on a chair.. Then I get up to do something and he straight jacks my bed so I end up sleeping on a small bed. But it's crazy cuz the me in my dream was thinking, MAN I wanna be in the same bed with him. HAHA.
Then last night I had a more realistic Pharrell dream. I dreamt that my sister had a recording sesh with NERD so she brought me with her to meet Pharrell. When we get there he goes up to me and says, You're Ashley's sister, right? And I'm like, Yeah.. Christine. And he's like dope. Or something like that! But most of my dream was just me sitting in the studio watching/listening to them sesh.
Aaaand so I guess that's who's been occupying my mind lately. Mm, if only it were reeeaaaal.. Ha!
K, gotta get back to campus. LATE.
Last week I had a dream that I went on tour with AiR and they decided to go out but I wanted to stay in the hotel. Coincidentally, Pharrell was staying in the saaaame hotel and we happen to meet up and vibe with it (non-sexually.. more like, musically). Then more coincidentally we end up staying in the same hotel room! So I had the big bed and he was still sitting on a chair.. Then I get up to do something and he straight jacks my bed so I end up sleeping on a small bed. But it's crazy cuz the me in my dream was thinking, MAN I wanna be in the same bed with him. HAHA.
Then last night I had a more realistic Pharrell dream. I dreamt that my sister had a recording sesh with NERD so she brought me with her to meet Pharrell. When we get there he goes up to me and says, You're Ashley's sister, right? And I'm like, Yeah.. Christine. And he's like dope. Or something like that! But most of my dream was just me sitting in the studio watching/listening to them sesh.
Aaaand so I guess that's who's been occupying my mind lately. Mm, if only it were reeeaaaal.. Ha!
K, gotta get back to campus. LATE.
Back on the Griiind.
It is now officially Wednesday which means classes start up today. I'm pretty much gonna be on campus the whole day from 10 to 530 with one 2-hour break from 1-3. This is my everyyy Wednesday (hopefully, if I get into all my classes). Not to mention I also have AiR every wednesday from 7-930. Talk about busy. I'm kinda excited but actually kinda dreading it more than I am excited. So we'll see how I feel tomorroww...
On another note, I'm daily being tested in every which way. I've found that I'm getting weaker.. Or maybe just not as strong as I used to be. Or maybe I just am getting tested more than I'm used to. I don't know what it is but I feel like I'm at an all-time low. Seriously. I hate feeling like this cuz I hate feeling weak. And this is so not me..
But I guess I gotta deal with it for now. Gotta get back on that grind that'll get me to where I need to be. Keep it positive. And keep the onward progression.
I just really don't need this right now..
On another note, I'm daily being tested in every which way. I've found that I'm getting weaker.. Or maybe just not as strong as I used to be. Or maybe I just am getting tested more than I'm used to. I don't know what it is but I feel like I'm at an all-time low. Seriously. I hate feeling like this cuz I hate feeling weak. And this is so not me..
But I guess I gotta deal with it for now. Gotta get back on that grind that'll get me to where I need to be. Keep it positive. And keep the onward progression.
I just really don't need this right now..
Monday, August 25, 2008
At the End of the Day..
.. You wonder what it's all worth, cuz I'm up here struggling to keep myself sane. And yeah, all this time occupying myself with AiR has been doing that for me, but it can only take me so far. It's like I can't even be at peace with myself cuz my heart feels so heavy.
There's just too many things that I miss or wish I could be doing other than being so far from everyone I love.
On the bright side, my 11 hours with AiR were worthwhile. We performed at Caltopia and then twice at Sonoma State. On the way to Sonoma (about an hour drive) I heard allll these songs that reminded me of summer, especially of boyfriend. It sucked cuz it made me nostalgic all over again. But I guess that's just another part of dealing with all of this.
I just want to feel as happy as I did before...
I guess time will tell.
There's just too many things that I miss or wish I could be doing other than being so far from everyone I love.
On the bright side, my 11 hours with AiR were worthwhile. We performed at Caltopia and then twice at Sonoma State. On the way to Sonoma (about an hour drive) I heard allll these songs that reminded me of summer, especially of boyfriend. It sucked cuz it made me nostalgic all over again. But I guess that's just another part of dealing with all of this.
I just want to feel as happy as I did before...
I guess time will tell.
Sunday, August 24, 2008
One Day Down...
And a billion days left until I'm back home in San Diego. This post is pretty much gonna be random ramblingssss soo brace yourself......
So the day was quiiiite interesting. I didn't get to sleep until about 3am or something like that, cuz I was packing and talking to boyfriend. I woke up at 630 and got ready and all that.. Then my parents took me to the airport. Wowww.. I was super tired. The flight to Oakland was alright; I don't remember any of it cuz I knocked out straight from take-off to landing.
I got my bags around 1045 and got back to Berkeley with the help of a friend. Had to pretty much dump my stuff in my room cuz I had to get to Cory Hall at 12. Wow. My new apartment is sooo muchhh farther from everything than my previous one. I mean I guess it's just an extra 5 minutes of walking, but I still have to get used to it... Haha. Anyway. Got to Cory Hall and was fiiiiinally reunited with Quang and Dyanne! I missed them so much. And the rest of AiR too, of course (; But we got a lot done.. I'm really impressed with our group this year cuz everyone is so talented and on top of their game. I must admit that despite my co-directorship I haven't been doing as much as I should be.. I need to step it up now that I'm back and just do what I gotta.
After our 7 hour singing marathon, I went home and ktfo'd. I was supposed to go to Quang's for dinner and hanging out but that never happened.. Haha my bad. But then I started organizing my room a biiit.. And much to my surprise Amanda came home! I forgot to mention that I came home to an empty apartment. But Amanda came home and we got to catch up a bit. I also forgot how much I missed her! We still have much to talk about but she had to go to boyfriend's apartment........ And I'm yet again in an empty apartment.
Anyways, it's weird because I feel really homesick right now. I know I'll get over it when classes start up and I start going out again and start to get busier, but as of right now I'm in an empty apartment, having to handle this alone. I'm sure all my friends at home are out right now, and even my roommate is at her boyfriend's. Hmm. It's okay though.. The feeling will pass.
I'm actually feeling quite tired despite my 2 hour nap. That nap was soo necessary though! I'm not sure if I'm ready for our 13-hour AiR excursion tomorrow.. I just hope my voice isn't too shot for our performances. I haven't been doing too much singing over summer and it's really taking it's toll right nowww.
So my phone is extremely sucky right now. It won't charge unless I hold it which suuucks cuz I'll be living on my phone for the next couple months.. Heh. Aaand I lost the middle button cuz it came off somehow. What I'm trying to say is.. I want a new phone. Hahaha.
Speaking of new things, I want to go shopping. I'm really tempted but at the saaame time I realized that I have to go grocery shopping anddd buy some books. I hate school sometimes..
I think my ramblings have gone on long enough. That is all.. For now.
LAAAAAATE
So the day was quiiiite interesting. I didn't get to sleep until about 3am or something like that, cuz I was packing and talking to boyfriend. I woke up at 630 and got ready and all that.. Then my parents took me to the airport. Wowww.. I was super tired. The flight to Oakland was alright; I don't remember any of it cuz I knocked out straight from take-off to landing.
I got my bags around 1045 and got back to Berkeley with the help of a friend. Had to pretty much dump my stuff in my room cuz I had to get to Cory Hall at 12. Wow. My new apartment is sooo muchhh farther from everything than my previous one. I mean I guess it's just an extra 5 minutes of walking, but I still have to get used to it... Haha. Anyway. Got to Cory Hall and was fiiiiinally reunited with Quang and Dyanne! I missed them so much. And the rest of AiR too, of course (; But we got a lot done.. I'm really impressed with our group this year cuz everyone is so talented and on top of their game. I must admit that despite my co-directorship I haven't been doing as much as I should be.. I need to step it up now that I'm back and just do what I gotta.
After our 7 hour singing marathon, I went home and ktfo'd. I was supposed to go to Quang's for dinner and hanging out but that never happened.. Haha my bad. But then I started organizing my room a biiit.. And much to my surprise Amanda came home! I forgot to mention that I came home to an empty apartment. But Amanda came home and we got to catch up a bit. I also forgot how much I missed her! We still have much to talk about but she had to go to boyfriend's apartment........ And I'm yet again in an empty apartment.
Anyways, it's weird because I feel really homesick right now. I know I'll get over it when classes start up and I start going out again and start to get busier, but as of right now I'm in an empty apartment, having to handle this alone. I'm sure all my friends at home are out right now, and even my roommate is at her boyfriend's. Hmm. It's okay though.. The feeling will pass.
I'm actually feeling quite tired despite my 2 hour nap. That nap was soo necessary though! I'm not sure if I'm ready for our 13-hour AiR excursion tomorrow.. I just hope my voice isn't too shot for our performances. I haven't been doing too much singing over summer and it's really taking it's toll right nowww.
So my phone is extremely sucky right now. It won't charge unless I hold it which suuucks cuz I'll be living on my phone for the next couple months.. Heh. Aaand I lost the middle button cuz it came off somehow. What I'm trying to say is.. I want a new phone. Hahaha.
Speaking of new things, I want to go shopping. I'm really tempted but at the saaame time I realized that I have to go grocery shopping anddd buy some books. I hate school sometimes..
I think my ramblings have gone on long enough. That is all.. For now.
LAAAAAATE
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Goodbye, Summer 08.
It's 1am on Saturday morning and I'll be leaving my house at 7am for my 9am flight back to the Bay.
This summer has been theee most phenomenal summer I've ever had. The people I chilled with this summer have made it soo memorable.. Consistent friendships, re-kindled friendships, and even new friendships made everything that much more worthwhile. Some big things happened, too.. Like AiR coming down for SoCal tour 2008 and random LA trips in the beginning of summer. One of the BEST moments of the summer was the SF trip that was like the icing on the cake called summer. Honestly couldn't have picked a better bunch to go on that adventure with me. From 6am hookah seshes and hookah pong, to the best day of summer in SF, I cannot stress enough how great that trip was.
And that's that. Summer's been fun while it lasted and I wish it weren't over. And though my time spent in San Diego ends tonight, I hope to say that the friendships and new relationships that have formed within these past few months will persist despite me being back in Berkeley.
"Love is patient.."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
